Saturday, July 14, 2012

Anti-social networking

With all the attention paid to social networking, there's been little focus on its related discipline, anti-social networking. Here are a few tips to make sure that you know how to be busy online for no gain and little profit (I first published a few tips several years ago - this is an expanded list):

1) Promote yourself relentlessly, at all times. Make sure that every message is a selling one, so that your friends and followers understand what you are really about.

2) Never offer help. Why give away something that people should pay you for?

3) Re-send messages from experts, to give the impression that you have the same thoughts. Occasionally "forget" to mention their name to reinforce this impression.

4) Hide your identity behind a silly name or jumble of letters. You don't want to end up on a spammers list, do you?

5) Try to get as many people to follow you as possible, but ignore them completely. They are just your potential customers, so they have nothing to offer you.

6) Cut and paste articles and pretend that you wrote them (or at least hint at it by making it hard to spot the name of the original author).

7) Automate everything so that you never have to be at your computer, There are better things to do than listen to the dull conversations in social networks.

8) Constantly promote money-making schemes that you don't use yourself (because they don't work). You can make loads of money selling these as an affiliate.

9) Insult and abuse others, to damage their reputations and reduce their chance of getting work.

10) Never miss an opportunity to tell people that they are doing it wrong, and you are doing it right. They will get the message eventually, and give up, leaving you the winner.

There you go. If you follow these rules on a daily basis, your business will change dramatically. However, it will get worse rather than better, so why not do the opposite of all these tips instead?

1 comment:

Heather said...

Great list Alan,
I'd add a few more:

1) Add your social media connections automatically to your mailing list. After all, they are there to buy from you...

2) Add your own link promoting your stuff to someone else's tweet - after all, people are there to buy your stuff