Monday, October 22, 2012

Hyperbole Anonymous now offering free coaching

I've just set up an organisation called Hyperbole Anonymous or HA! for short.

The objective is to help victims afflicted by excessive overstatement, inappropriate hyperbole and overblown claims. Hyperbole can affect lives by making people look and sound ridiculous, damaging both their business and personal relationships. In some parts of the world, it is already endemic, and the aim of HA! is to stop it spreading further.

The signs of early-onset hyperbole are easy to spot. If you notice anyone using certain phrases, try to calm them down with a cup of sugary tea while persuading them to seek help.

Some of the tell-tale phrases are:

"It was awesome..."

"I'm the country's leading practitioner of...."

"You can be anything you can dream...."

"This is the most unbelievable offer ever...

"Make millions working at home in four hours a week...."


Fortunately, there is a cure. I am able to offer free coaching and therapy sessions for a small number of individuals. The sessions are brief but effective, and use the technique of slaps in the face with a large wet fish every time hyperbole is used. A few sessions usually sort things out.

If you, or anyone you know, is suffering from this debilitating ailment, don't hesitate to get in touch.

6 comments:

Simon Ellinas said...

Very refreshing Alan! However you're not the only one to come up with the acronym Ha!. I've been using it for years as 'Humorous Arts'!

Alan Stevens said...

Simon,

Thanks. You may recall that when I posted this blog before on Ecademy, I gave a tip of the hat to your "HA!"

Bridget said...

I'm not a fan of hype, but I am a fan of positive projection, experiencing something that is awesome and not dictating to others their limitations. Where does that fit in with HA!?

Alan Stevens said...

Bridget,

Thank you for your comment, which I must admit, I don't understand. What is "positive projection'?

Amy McDonald said...

What an absolutely amazingly awesome article!! Seriously though, I couldn't agree with you more. Yes be positive and keep it real, integrity is what counts.

Jane Hafren said...

Far be it from me to enrol willingly for a session involving face slaps and wet fish... but I have been known to use the word awesome quite a lot.

Given I'm not going to give you my address, what would you prescribe as a less painful alternative treatment? Please?

Jane