Black Hole appears between New York and Newcastle

As someone pointed out in a text to BBC Radio 5 Live this morning, the Large Hadron Collider in Geneva did create a black hole after all. It's currently located somewhere in the middle of the Atlantic, and a large financial institution (Lehman Brothers) and a Premiership Football Club (Newcastle United) have already been sucked into it. The hungry vortex may yet claim more victims if the rumours are anything to go by. If I were Gordon Brown, I'd be chaining myself to the banisters in number 10, for a start.

Doom and gloom? Well not from where I sit. As it happens, I was in Wall Street a few weeks ago, watching the investment bankers shouting into their mobile phones. It struck me as all a bit eighties, and there was an air of unreality, almost as though it were a film set. Turns out it's a disaster movie.

As for Newcastle, home of my grandfather, I do have a lot of sympathy for the fans. Mind you, it's clear that a choice of shirt sponsor can have a dramatic impact on a club's fortunes. Mike Ashley, the current owner of Newcastle (though for how long, who can tell?) proudly sported the words "Northern Rock" on his manly bosom. West Ham, also going through some troubled times, opted for XL leisure. And who would have thought that Manchester United would be languishing in fourteenth place in the table this morning. Could it be that the travails of their shirt sponsors, AIG (who are seeking a forty billion dollar bail-out) are having an impact?

So who's next? ( a particularly good album, by the way). My guess is as good as yours. Let's take a look at the Premiership table. Spurs are propping it up. Their shirt sponsors, Mansion, are described on the Spurs website as "a gaming and entertainment company with strong Asian interests". Nineteenth placed Stoke have the Britannia Building Society across their stripes, while one place above them, sport the Crown Paints logo. No doubt they're all fine and stable companies. I'm sure the fans hope so too.